BE HAPPY : THE GIFT OF NOWBE HAPPY : THE GIFT OF NOW https://delphineremy.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/if-not-now-when-1024x1024.jpg 1024 1024 Delphine Remy | Holistic Nutrition & Eating Psychology Coach Delphine Remy | Holistic Nutrition & Eating Psychology Coach https://delphineremy.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/if-not-now-when-1024x1024.jpg
Do you want to be happy? Do you want to wake up and greet a new morning with a bright smile and anticipation of good things about to happen? I do and I am sure you do too. So, is happiness a gift of nature, a result of lucky genes like good skin and beautiful eyes? Is it a talent like a perfect musical pitch or eye-hand coordination? Maybe it is one or the other, maybe some folks are born being naturally happy but, unfortunately, most of us have to work to make ourselves and people depending on us happy.
When people are asked “what will make you happy?” the answer to that question often times involves money or celebrity. I would be happy if I could pay off this debt, or buy this car or have money to do (fill in the blank). This sounds good in theory, right?
In a wonderful TED Talk, Robert Waldinger, Harvard clinical professor of psychiatry speaks about the lessons from the longest study on happiness. The conclusion is one simple sentence: good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period. People who are connected with family, friends, communities are happier, physically healthier and live longer. We are not talking about the number of connections but the quality of those connections.
After “Be Happy: Enjoy Life by Living it to the Fullest” and “Be Happy: Start by Letting Go“, let’s conclude with these last reflections as keys to find happiness in your everyday life.
Slow down. Today’s world moves so fast and we are constantly feeling the pressures of I need to move faster, … I need get more done. “Lean in” to your work they say — push yourself harder to achieve more. There is a fine line between pushing yourself to grow by challenging yourself and operating under the notion that achievements and pursuits will bring sustainable fulfillment and happiness. Not to mention the negative effects operating under these conditions can take on your body and mind. Anxiety, depression, high blood pressure and heart disease are all common results of unchecked stress. When you start to feel it all adding up, just stop. Breathe and reconnect with the ideas that matter to you. Remind yourself why you are pursuing your goals and how they serve you — not others. If you find that you are moving faster than you’re comfortable — slow down. Take your time and go at your own pace.
Live in the moment. While it’s fun and exciting to dream, set goals and look forward to the future, living in the moment can help you make the most of today. Let the best part of today be what is happening now. Perhaps you are enjoying breakfast with your family, taking your dog for a walk, cuddling with your spouse on the sofa watching your favorite show. We tend to get so caught up with wanting to achieve and cross things off “the list” that we postpone time for the things that feed our souls : our connections and relationships to others.
Milestones and goals will be achieved as we work towards them each day but celebrate the other moments in your life as well. Live in the moment by living more consciously every day. Many are in the rut of sleepwalking through life, but life needs to be fully experienced, not coasted through.
Focus on giving, not getting. The ties between generosity and well being are many. Studies show that people who volunteer regularly have better psychological and mental health and increased longevity — and you don’t have to volunteer your time to reap the benefits. Studies also show people who give monetarily tend to be connect to people and the community on a deeper level. Their levels of compassion and empathy typically transcend their own self. Ironically enough — another study shows that money is more likely to bring happiness if spent on experiences, than material goods. Number 1 on the list was giving to friends or family in need.
Law of attraction. The law of attraction is simple, and based on the theory that whatever you focus on, you will attract from the universe into your life. The Law of attraction is not magic — although wouldn’t that be nice — it’s a principle. By cultivating happiness in our life we learn to accept things for what they are; the good, the bad and the ugly. By doing so we make it possible to operate on a higher frequency of joy, gratitude and generosity because we know and understand things are going to happen — and that’s okay. The perks of taking this approach to life is that you’ll notice you’ll attract others into your life who have operate under the philosophy. You’ll also notice, life will find more balance, there won’t be so much friction in the day to day and it will lighten the pressures of forcing what we can’t control.
Embrace and express gratitude. Being grateful for what you have today is also a key to happiness. You will be amazed by the impact such a small act of gratitude can have on the quality of your life and the people around you. Embracing and expressing gratitude is actually magic. It is such an effective way to influence your behavior and attitudes (as well as others) in a positive way.
Problems are opportunities. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Try adding a little mint. 🙂 What do I mean by this? As I’ve mentioned before, things are going to go wrong. It’s inevitable. Sometimes it’s in our control and other times not so much but we have to use these opportunities as learning lessons to evaluate and improve. Improve upon relationships, businesses, procedures and processes. Viewing “problems” as opportunities flips a mental switch that skips the initial urge to react negatively, and handle the situation with more grace and objective understanding.
Fears are also opportunities. Challenge and accept them. We all have fears but if we are controlled by them, they will keep us stagnant in our lives and will not allow us to grow. There is no avoiding them — so learn to see them as opportunities for growth and overcome them.
And last but not least, stop putting your life on hold because of the negative thoughts in your head. There will always be something. That’s life, but if we can retrain our brain to adopt and develop a few practices further we can come that much closer to maintaining happiness in our lives.
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